November 10, 2020

No B.S. Guide to Grow Apartment Food in 14 Days (how to actually, reliably, enjoyably, do it) PART 1

by christopherabdo




This starts with what matters to you. So make sure to respond to this email or post OR get off my list,   Lawn  gorgeous-as-hell-carpet-of-fragrant-lemon-thyme-and-texas-natives-that-use-less-water-and-attract-butterflies-and-bees-also-way-more-interesting-than-a-lawn. 


Just kidding. You can stay. For now....but I have a particular set of skills so I WILL find you, and I WILL throw yummy food, flowers and fragrance & inspiration your way until you break down and finally nurture some more plant  life, in your life, for life.  😉 


So the first thing I wanted to do in my dark apartment was start growing something I could eat. I had many obstacles in my way, lots of irrelevant, vague,  information online (still the case now...more than 6 years later...so yeah, I guess I HAVE to make a website) to help me out. 


So here were all of my wishes (that I can finally say YES! I feel like a genie because after years of tweaking I can make all these wishes come true)

BUT I want to hear from you...which of these wishes most resonate with what you need, and are there any you would add?


My plan is to make a system so damn bang on and easily applicable to your exact situation that it will hopefully spread to the whole world. So this will need to be really portable so it's spreadable. So let's start really small here. Apartment small. 


  1. It has to be something FAST

Do you know how long a tomato seed takes before you get a tomato? Despite having grow tomatoes from seed for a couple years now, I don't even know...I lost track those divas are so Unfashionably late to the harvest party.  If you actually want food, like, this year, in your dark apartment, grow the tomato for fun, not for food, especially if you have no outdoor space (yet...we'll get there). 


  1. It has to be EASY and somewhat beginner-proof 

I LOVE plant challenges, but I'm thinking about what could someone who has never grown a thing in their life actually succeed with quickly, without failing a whole lot and giving up because they feel like an idiot. 


  1. It has to be something that TASTY AND HELLA FRESH that even my culinary-degreed-easily-skittish-with-food-spouse will enjoy.


This one was the one that really surprised me! I had to go a little step beyond my comfort zone and take a bit of a leap...and boy did I fall in love! 


  1. It has to be senior-citizen-with-disability-friendly


When I joined a garden club for the first time, most of the members were in the 50-70's age range. Guess what? Many of them had greatly reduced their gardening efforts because of various mobility and disability issues. It made me sad to realize that they didn't have a way to grow food if they only had the traditional "bent-over digging in the ground" way of gardening. I want something I can grow for life, with ability or disability, that I can recommend to my 80-something step dad. I want as many people as possible to be able to participate. 


  1. It has do something good for the environment...or at least on the way to good for the environment.


Well that was the easiest one. The salad you buy at the store is so so so off the mark here, almost anything you try will be an improvement. 


  1. It has to be actually be productive. Not a "toy garden" as Peter Burke would call it.


It has to actually show up on my plate daily or almost daily. 


  1. I need to have a variety of flavors, not just the same ol' same ol'.


I want diversity in flavors, nutritional profiles, etc. 


  1. I want COLOR and BEAUTY!


I want to find that super-OCD-clean-freak-interior-designer friend of mine, and be able to say "look, you can grow food indoors and it actually add to your style". 


  1. I want it to take MINUTES.

I want that stressed-out mother of 12 to be able to do this...and it actually be a 3min zen moment in her day or a moment with her kids that everyone enjoys. 



Tell me now in the comments: which of these matter most to you? and why? and anything else I didn't cover? 


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