As I've come to the completion of the 30 posts in 30 days challenge, the process of writing and creating helped me really clarify what I'm doing in my life to move towards a more gratifying, grounded (literally) and joyful way of living.
So in my I Stand for Water post, I spelled the out the specific actions I'm doing, to stand for what I care about.
What I'm really quite a newbie with, is figuring out how to invite others along with me. I always have had a picture of me on my own, with everyone else "out there". I always looked at how I could change myself and my environment...and when I tried to involve others, I often seemed to drown others in my own enthusiasm, become preachy and pushy, or make big boundaries to make it clear "I'm doing this, and you're not getting in my way".
None of those things actually worked for the relationships I'm trying to foster. So my next solution was to just ignore the possibility that anyone would want to be part of filling the world with life (specifically, plant-life).
This was actually super beneficial for me. It helped me be really connected to what I'm needing, what I care about, etc. It also slowed me down from jumping to involve others.
And yet: there was a little tug on my heart. A little push. A little "toothache-of-the-heart" as my step-dad would call it, that could see a longing (and a realization) that the depth of meaning and impact we have together will far out weigh anything I could do on my own. So I know I need others. Not just because it would be less lonely for me (I can and have found great ways to feel more connected with others) but because its better together.
Yet at the same time, I've delayed trying to do this...trying to bring people together for a common cause, because knowing my own history and pitfalls, I feel like the last person qualified to even start this.
The trouble is...I've looked and looked and no one seems to be leading the way in my local area in a way that I can totally get behind (or even be allowed to be a part of!).
So I'm clear on what I'm doing...but I'm not clear (yet) on concrete requests I want to make for you, dear reader, to join me.
I'm a little too good at hearing the word "no". I've planned my life around that. So now I have to make room in my life that someone might say a resounding YES! And then I'll think "oh crap, now I need to actually figure out how to lead in a way that honors both of us and life."
So if you've read my articles, and you're like "Okay Chris, that's great, I'm glad you care about all this, but what are you hoping I'm going to do about that?"...this is why. I have very little practice in engaging a community, leading a cause and yet I can't rid of this feeling like I'm called to do that.
So I know exactly what I'm doing in my own life...but I'm a total beginner at opening the doors, sending invites and making a party where we can celebrate the wonders of plant-life together and transform our health, our lives and life on the planet in the process.
So I have to figure out how to involve others, how to decide what requests would bring this vision forward and how to ask (thanks Yvette, you're already helping a lot with the how to ask part of this!).